Our Polish columnists
Home… & Away
WIZZ Poznañ resident Ewa Tomankiewicz
It’s food that’s lost in translation between the Poles and the Brits
Recently, I had the chance to listen to a speech about sausages and divisions between nations. The speaker was not a crazed butcher with political inclinations, but the British ambassador in Warsaw, Ric Todd, who pointed to what the Poles and the Brits argue about – food.
I couldn’t help but agree with his observations. Talking to British ex-pats in Poznañ about their homeland grub is like bringing up the subject of football – you find yourself buried under an avalanche of woe and complaint.
Most foods that bring wistful tears to ex-pat eyes are unpalatable for the average Pole. Take Marmite. It’s not the complex, elusive taste that annoys, but rather its trick of looking like chocolate. I fell into the trap of its promising texture and colour and eagerly spread lashings of it on my sandwich, expecting a rich creamy sweet delight, only to discover that it tasted like cremated vegetables!
But it quickly becomes apparent that the biggest bone of contention in English-Polish relations is white and bland – bread. It seems to me that tales of the mystical half-legendary Mighty White follow English ex-pats wherever they go. I refrain from passing judgment. I never got the chance to taste this allegedly heaven-sent mother-of-all-breads. What I do know is that England, the homeland of scrumptious treacle tarts, delicious cream scones, not to mention the “exceedingly good” Mr Kipling cakes, is a bread disappointment. From my experience, its bread ranges from slightly artificial to plain synthetic. Maybe it’s just a matter of taste, or maybe Englishmen miss their bread in the same weird way that I miss our horrible Polish chicory coffee when I’m away for too long.
Living abroad is like falling in love for the second time. Even if the new love is more exciting, exotic, unpredictable and undeniably right for us, some part of our hearts shall always remain faithful to that first familiar homely love and his or her understated, long forgotten, taken-for-granted charms. Even if their cooking sucked!
WIZZ London resident Kasia Trzcinska-Draper
There’s more to London than fog and rain
“You must go to Kew Gardens! Tate Gallery! Visit Camden Market! Go skating in Somerset House! Have a walk on Hampstead Heath!” My two English friends, Leila and Maisie, were getting more and more excited about my long-planned trip to London. We were spending an evening in Leila’s room in Jowita, the famous students‘ residents hall in Poznañ, and the list which they compiled introduced me to some parts of London that I still love to visit today, even though our conversation took place many moons ago.
I now live here, a Pole overseas, and know how Leila and Maisie felt to miss home and the joy it is to recommend your favourite places to friends. Although it does not always work out as planned. Take the time when I had invited my English husband-to-be to see my beloved Tatra mountains. He flew to Warsaw where I was then based and we took a late-night train to Zakopane. So far so good – except a thick, milky fog spread all over Zakopane even before we arrived in the morning.
You could not see further than a couple of metres in front of your nose. And quite amazingly, the fog did not relent at all before we had to leave three days later. I ended up desperately pointing to jagged peaks on postcards: “I promise you, they are all around us!” Nevertheless, we had to go back the following year for him to truly believe me.
Talking of fog, don’t ever believe anyone telling you that London is a foggy place. It’s a fallacy that we Poles have been spoon-fed for years. Probably something to do with Victorian smog, now long gone. But rain, yes. Plenty of that, in any shape or form, at any time, but particularly in winter, so don’t forget your umbrella. Or better still, buy a cheap one here (you can pick one up for as little as £2), and you will not feel sorry when you leave it behind on the Tube, which is something of a tradition in itself. Last year over 6000 umbrellas turned up at Transport for London’s Lost Property.
If all that water pouring over your head makes you long for warmer climes, the tropical greenhouses in Kew Gardens (www.kew.org) are bound to cheer you up. On the other hand, if the English weather is precisely what you are here for, head for Hampstead Heath and admire its vastness – you’ll soon understand why it inspired John Keats’ poetry. You might have just missed the ice skating, as the rink closes on 24 January, but Somerset House collection is definitely worth a visit (www.somersethouse.org.uk). And you still have time to catch the last few weeks of Polish artist Miros³aw Ba³ka’s Turbine Hall commission at Tate Modern (until 5 April, www.tate.org.uk). Then a quick shopping trip to Camden Market, where you can truly appreciate London’s diversity, and you will probably want to come back again and again.
